As December sneaks up on us, thoughts of Noah's upcoming birthday fill my mind. Another birthday wondering what that little boy would be at 3 years old. I picture that chunky grin covered in cake. Tonight I had a dream of Noah and I woke up thinking of that. I opened my Facebook and had a message from my sister April with a picture of Noah. Tears started to flow because I know that dream was a Noah sign. I knew the day I first held him just how much I loved him and I knew the last day I held him almost 2 1/2 years ago that I was losing a piece of myself. Not an hour goes by that I don't think of Noah and I pray constantly that he will be remembered. A few weeks ago we were eating supper as a family and Maddy asked if Noah gets to eat supper in Heaven. A few days later she asked if Noah is still a baby or if he got bigger.  She talks about him often and I know she misses him. She talks about Heaven and we try to help her understand. My prayers are answered! She will never forget and we will continue to talk about the memories of Noah and as Josiah gets older, he will also hear all about his older brother.  We won't ever be over that little man and I will never apologize for that. There are a lot of things in life that we have to let go of, but no one should ever be  forced to  get over a child. For anyone that doesn't know us and even a lot of people that do, they look at our family and see 4 of us.  For every family picture that is taken, every holiday, and everything in between, Kevin and I know there is a  gap.

Hold your babies right and treasure every moment!