Two years ago today I was blessed with a beautiful baby boy, Noah Paul. He was perfect in every way. I cried tears of joy that day. Today, I cry tears of sorrow for what we had and what we lost. I know God has a plan for everything. I know that Noah was sent here for a purpose and that beautiful baby boy fulfilled his time on Earth after just a brief 4 months 22 days. I will never fully understand. There are days that I am angry that we were dealt this hand, but I am so honored to have been chosen to carry that Angel for 9 months and give him a loving home for his short time on Earth.
I look at other kids that are close to his age and my heart aches. I wonder what he would look like and I long to hear the pitter patter of his little feet around the house. I grieve for all that he had yet to experience in life. Noah will forever be a 4 month old, 18 lb, bald-headed, toothless little boy in my mind, but in reality, he should be 2 years old.
We baked cupcakes for Noah. Funfetti cupcakes with blue frosting to match his piercing blue eyes. We will light 2 candles and sing to our Angel. We are going out to the cemetery to send a wish lantern off to him with special birthday messages. Not the birthday party that any parent wants to throw for their child, but it's all we have. Noah still matters and we will celebrate his birthday with him.
Not a day goes by that we don't think of you Noah. We still cry more than anyone knows. We wonder and wish that we could be a complete family of 5. I wish that the empty space in my heart would mend, but I know that it never will. Not until I hold you again. I know that you are in an amazing place and I am sure that you are celebrating today with all of the other Angels and of course Jesus. I can only imagine what a beautiful, magical place you are in. I know one day we will be reunited. I will recognize those blue eyes and that amazing smile. I will grab you and never let you go!
Happy 2nd Birthday Baby Boy! We love you to the moon and back!! xoxoxo
Monday, December 17, 2012
Friday, November 2, 2012
Eighteen Months
November 9th will be eighteen months since we lost Noah. We should be getting ready for his 2nd birthday. I look at kids around his age and I wonder what he would look like, what his voice would sound like, and how different our life would be if only we could have kept him.
A friend of mine recently sent me the link to Taylor Swift's song, "Ronan". It's about a blue-eyed boy that died at 4 years old. That song gave me chills from the first time I listened to it. I only had 4 months with Noah, but we will always love him "to the moon and back", it is engraved on his headstone and we told him that every day. My sister told me the other day that Ronan passed away on 5/9/11. The same day we lost Noah. If you have a chance, listen to that song! I have listened to it over and over.
Every day I look at Josiah and I thank God for sending him to us. Josiah was due 9 months from the day we lost Noah and he has been such a miracle. He has helped our entire family heal in ways that we could never have imagined. Kevin and I count our blessings daily. We have said since the day we lost Noah that we were not going to focus on what we lost, but for what we still have to be thankful for. It has helped us tremendously. We went trick or treating as a family of 4 on Wednesday and there was a brief while that I looked at our kids and I thought how awesome it was to have our happy little family, but how I wished that we had all 3 kids walking with us.
I am writing this blog today because I can't believe that 18 months has passed since that awful Monday morning. I remember thinking that I didn't know how I could possibly go on that day. But, we did. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday that I spent the last day with Maddy and Noah. And other times, I just pray that I will never forget those beautiful piercing blue eyes and that sweet face.
The truth is, time does not heal all wounds. I still ache for Noah. Eighteen months ago I prayed that the nightmare would go away and yet he is still my very first thought each day and my last thought each night. I still cry. I have days that I cry at what we lost and other days, I can smile at those sweet memories. A piece of our family is gone forever. I am not the same person that I was before we lost our son, but I try to be the best person that I can be and the best mother that I can be to my kids. I know that God has a plan. I truly believe that Josiah is part of that plan. There are times that I drive to work and I think of that Monday morning that I thought of a million things that I had to do and how great our weekend was. I never would have thought that in a few short hours we would be shaken with such a tragedy. there are days that Kevin calls me at work and I wish that I could take that one phone call back. I wish God didn't have so much trust that I am such a strong person. But, I am thankful for the strength I have found to go on with my life and I am so thankful for my strong faith.
Some day I will look into Noah's eyes again. Some day I will get to hold that precious boy in my arms, but for now, we have beautiful memories of our brief 4 months 22 days we shared with him.
We love you to the moon and back, sweet baby boy!
A friend of mine recently sent me the link to Taylor Swift's song, "Ronan". It's about a blue-eyed boy that died at 4 years old. That song gave me chills from the first time I listened to it. I only had 4 months with Noah, but we will always love him "to the moon and back", it is engraved on his headstone and we told him that every day. My sister told me the other day that Ronan passed away on 5/9/11. The same day we lost Noah. If you have a chance, listen to that song! I have listened to it over and over.
Every day I look at Josiah and I thank God for sending him to us. Josiah was due 9 months from the day we lost Noah and he has been such a miracle. He has helped our entire family heal in ways that we could never have imagined. Kevin and I count our blessings daily. We have said since the day we lost Noah that we were not going to focus on what we lost, but for what we still have to be thankful for. It has helped us tremendously. We went trick or treating as a family of 4 on Wednesday and there was a brief while that I looked at our kids and I thought how awesome it was to have our happy little family, but how I wished that we had all 3 kids walking with us.
I am writing this blog today because I can't believe that 18 months has passed since that awful Monday morning. I remember thinking that I didn't know how I could possibly go on that day. But, we did. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday that I spent the last day with Maddy and Noah. And other times, I just pray that I will never forget those beautiful piercing blue eyes and that sweet face.
The truth is, time does not heal all wounds. I still ache for Noah. Eighteen months ago I prayed that the nightmare would go away and yet he is still my very first thought each day and my last thought each night. I still cry. I have days that I cry at what we lost and other days, I can smile at those sweet memories. A piece of our family is gone forever. I am not the same person that I was before we lost our son, but I try to be the best person that I can be and the best mother that I can be to my kids. I know that God has a plan. I truly believe that Josiah is part of that plan. There are times that I drive to work and I think of that Monday morning that I thought of a million things that I had to do and how great our weekend was. I never would have thought that in a few short hours we would be shaken with such a tragedy. there are days that Kevin calls me at work and I wish that I could take that one phone call back. I wish God didn't have so much trust that I am such a strong person. But, I am thankful for the strength I have found to go on with my life and I am so thankful for my strong faith.
Some day I will look into Noah's eyes again. Some day I will get to hold that precious boy in my arms, but for now, we have beautiful memories of our brief 4 months 22 days we shared with him.
We love you to the moon and back, sweet baby boy!
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
4 Months 23 Days
Kevin and I are celebrating so much today! Not only is is 4th of July, but it is also 4 months 23 days since we have welcomed Josiah Paul into our lives. We were only given a brief 4 months 22 days with Noah, so today felt like a huge victory to us. I know we can't live our lives like that, but this past month has been hard on us. I said to Kevin last night that I am so thankful that we lost Noah without warning because we were able to enjoy every last minute we had with him. The last memory we have with him is happy.
We took Josiah to his 4 month check up last week and our Dr told us he is progressing about a month ahead of schedule. He told us we have a happy healthy four month old. We look at Josiah and we are just so overwhelmed with emotions. Kevin said the day that we lost Noah that the thing he would miss most is his smile. Well, Josiah has twice the smile Noah had. And on top of that, the most contagious belly laugh ever. I have decided that Noah is living through his baby brother. Josiah is his own little perfect being. But, I truly believe that he is a gift sent from Noah and every milestone, every happy memory we think of Noah. We have had some rough moments, like when Josiah started to roll over. He has slept on his back from day 1, but when he learned to roll, he decided his belly is more comfy. Well, they say belly sleeping can lead to SIDS. We are willing to take chances. I called my mom frantic. She said it would be fine, but to call my Dr if I was worried. Our Dr was great and reassured us everything would be ok. We might seem like nutty, overreactive, overprotective parents to some, but luckily, we have an awesome Dr that has been with us through the whole deal and understands and comforts us with his wisdom more than he will probably ever know!
I almost stayed home from work yesterday. Josiah woke up at 4 am and wouldn't go back to sleep. Kevin took him around 6 am and he fell asleep on his chest. I got out of the shower and Josiah was sound asleep on Kevin's chest. That was my last memory of Noah. May 9th, when I left for work, Noah was laying on Kevin's chest and looked at me with his milk soaked chin.
But, I reminded myself everything would be fine and I left for work. I didn't realize until this morning when Kevin asked me what today was that I realized he also was keeping track of the days. I have faith that Josiah will be fine. That he completes our family. But, we still have hard days. We still cry and we still smile when we think of the happy times we had with Noah. I am thankful to be able to smile when we think of the happy times we had during Noah's short lift rather than cry every time.
I continue to count our blessing each and every day. It sucks that we were lucky enough to be picked to be the family of an Angel, but we can handle it. We still wouldn't have traded any of it, the happiness or the grief for what we had and what we have. We have a great thing going for us! Josiah is the perfect addition to the Weinshrott Family. I finally for the first time had this calm come over me on Sunday night. I was holding Josiah and rocking him. He was sound asleep and I all of a sudden realized that if we hadn't lost Noah, chances are we never would have met Josiah. I can't wait until he is old enough that we can snuggle at bedtime and tell him stories of his Big Brother Noah who is watching over him day and night.
We took Josiah to his 4 month check up last week and our Dr told us he is progressing about a month ahead of schedule. He told us we have a happy healthy four month old. We look at Josiah and we are just so overwhelmed with emotions. Kevin said the day that we lost Noah that the thing he would miss most is his smile. Well, Josiah has twice the smile Noah had. And on top of that, the most contagious belly laugh ever. I have decided that Noah is living through his baby brother. Josiah is his own little perfect being. But, I truly believe that he is a gift sent from Noah and every milestone, every happy memory we think of Noah. We have had some rough moments, like when Josiah started to roll over. He has slept on his back from day 1, but when he learned to roll, he decided his belly is more comfy. Well, they say belly sleeping can lead to SIDS. We are willing to take chances. I called my mom frantic. She said it would be fine, but to call my Dr if I was worried. Our Dr was great and reassured us everything would be ok. We might seem like nutty, overreactive, overprotective parents to some, but luckily, we have an awesome Dr that has been with us through the whole deal and understands and comforts us with his wisdom more than he will probably ever know!
I almost stayed home from work yesterday. Josiah woke up at 4 am and wouldn't go back to sleep. Kevin took him around 6 am and he fell asleep on his chest. I got out of the shower and Josiah was sound asleep on Kevin's chest. That was my last memory of Noah. May 9th, when I left for work, Noah was laying on Kevin's chest and looked at me with his milk soaked chin.
But, I reminded myself everything would be fine and I left for work. I didn't realize until this morning when Kevin asked me what today was that I realized he also was keeping track of the days. I have faith that Josiah will be fine. That he completes our family. But, we still have hard days. We still cry and we still smile when we think of the happy times we had with Noah. I am thankful to be able to smile when we think of the happy times we had during Noah's short lift rather than cry every time.
I continue to count our blessing each and every day. It sucks that we were lucky enough to be picked to be the family of an Angel, but we can handle it. We still wouldn't have traded any of it, the happiness or the grief for what we had and what we have. We have a great thing going for us! Josiah is the perfect addition to the Weinshrott Family. I finally for the first time had this calm come over me on Sunday night. I was holding Josiah and rocking him. He was sound asleep and I all of a sudden realized that if we hadn't lost Noah, chances are we never would have met Josiah. I can't wait until he is old enough that we can snuggle at bedtime and tell him stories of his Big Brother Noah who is watching over him day and night.
The Weinshrott Family
Memorial Day 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
One Year!
I can't believe that we have made it through one whole year without Noah! He is gone, but certainly never, ever forgotten!
All day today I thought about this terrible day last year. From the second I got the phone call until days after the funeral, I kept asking myself what I was going to do. I will forever cherish our last day as a family of four, Mother's Day. We spent the weekened with Kevin's parents, so they got to spend the whole weekend with Noah from Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon with the kids which is totally out of the norm, then we went to my parents' on Sunday to visit so my dad and mom got to spend time with both of the kids. We planned on going out for dinner as a family for Mother's Day, but my mom offered to keep Noah and Maddy, so that gave her extra time with him. Noah slept through the night from the time we were in the hospital, but on May 8th, he woke up twice during the night. All I had to do was give him his nuk and he went back to sleep. On May 9th, he woke up earlier then normal. When I left for work, Kevin was in bed with him, feeding him. I will never forget looking at his giant smile dripping with milk in his blue and red whale jammies.I think he knew. I think he knew that he was only scheduled to be on earth with us for a very brief time, so he planned it so he would be able to spend extra time with us before he left.
I will never, ever forget the sound of Kevin's voice on the phone when he called. To this day, when he calls me at work, I pause before answering the phone. I will never be able to walk into that hospital and not think of Noah. I remember days before Noah died, I read an article on the internet about a baby that was declared dead but miraculously started breathing again a long time later. I prayed as I walked from the waiting room to Noah's room that he would pull through.
As I look back on the past year, I am thankful. I am thankful for Josiah. He was truly a gift sent straight from Noah. I look into his blue eyes and his big dimpled smile and my heart aches. It aches in happiness for all that we have left and it aches in sorrow for all that we have lost. Maddy always reminds us when she sees us sad that we have Josiah now. That seems logical, but Josiah will never, never fill the void that Noah left. For people that don't know us, we look like a happy family of four. But, for those of you who know us, we are a family of 5, but one left us way too soon. We are like a puzzle with one piece missing. I told Kevin a few days ago that without our faith, family, and friends, we would have crumbled. But, we chose not to play the pity card. From day one, we looked at all that we have to be thankful for and not what we lost.
A friend of mine told me to focus on all that Noah gave us, not what we lost with his sudden departure. So, today I looked around and reminded myself that I have 3 beautiful babies, 2 on earth and 1 in Heaven. We are a very complete family. I have a stronger marriage than I did a year ago because of what we went through. I remember sitting at the hospital and thinking, I am going to be divorced, and then telling my mom later that day that I don't want to get divorced. I don't want the stress of the loss of a child to break us apart. She said, marriages that fall apart over the death of a child were already broken long before. And she was so right.
Tonight we went to the cemetery to send off ballons to our little Noah. Kevin and I were both in tears as soon as we pulled into the church parking lot because a few people had already been up to visit Noah. His grave sparkled with pinwheels, butterflies, and beautiful bright flowers. We are so touched to know that one year after our tragic loss, so many people still continue to think of us and hurt right along with us.
Maddy asked 100 questions up at the cemetery about Noah and why he had to leave us. It hurts that we can't answer any questions, but someday we will have all of the answers. But, as I said before, when we get the answers, we won't care because by that time we will be reunited with our beautiful blue-eyed angel! Maddy said on the way out of the cemetery that next year she is going to jump on a balloon and ride up to Noah's cloud to see him. I wish that I could have her innocence for a little bit. And I wish we could find that balloon that could take us to where Noah is and bring him back down, so we can once again be a complete family.
Thank you to everyone from the bottom of our hearts for the thoughts, prayers, friendship, and love. Without so many people caring we would not have survived the unimaginable during the past year! God Bless each and every one of you!
All day today I thought about this terrible day last year. From the second I got the phone call until days after the funeral, I kept asking myself what I was going to do. I will forever cherish our last day as a family of four, Mother's Day. We spent the weekened with Kevin's parents, so they got to spend the whole weekend with Noah from Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon with the kids which is totally out of the norm, then we went to my parents' on Sunday to visit so my dad and mom got to spend time with both of the kids. We planned on going out for dinner as a family for Mother's Day, but my mom offered to keep Noah and Maddy, so that gave her extra time with him. Noah slept through the night from the time we were in the hospital, but on May 8th, he woke up twice during the night. All I had to do was give him his nuk and he went back to sleep. On May 9th, he woke up earlier then normal. When I left for work, Kevin was in bed with him, feeding him. I will never forget looking at his giant smile dripping with milk in his blue and red whale jammies.I think he knew. I think he knew that he was only scheduled to be on earth with us for a very brief time, so he planned it so he would be able to spend extra time with us before he left.
I will never, ever forget the sound of Kevin's voice on the phone when he called. To this day, when he calls me at work, I pause before answering the phone. I will never be able to walk into that hospital and not think of Noah. I remember days before Noah died, I read an article on the internet about a baby that was declared dead but miraculously started breathing again a long time later. I prayed as I walked from the waiting room to Noah's room that he would pull through.
As I look back on the past year, I am thankful. I am thankful for Josiah. He was truly a gift sent straight from Noah. I look into his blue eyes and his big dimpled smile and my heart aches. It aches in happiness for all that we have left and it aches in sorrow for all that we have lost. Maddy always reminds us when she sees us sad that we have Josiah now. That seems logical, but Josiah will never, never fill the void that Noah left. For people that don't know us, we look like a happy family of four. But, for those of you who know us, we are a family of 5, but one left us way too soon. We are like a puzzle with one piece missing. I told Kevin a few days ago that without our faith, family, and friends, we would have crumbled. But, we chose not to play the pity card. From day one, we looked at all that we have to be thankful for and not what we lost.
A friend of mine told me to focus on all that Noah gave us, not what we lost with his sudden departure. So, today I looked around and reminded myself that I have 3 beautiful babies, 2 on earth and 1 in Heaven. We are a very complete family. I have a stronger marriage than I did a year ago because of what we went through. I remember sitting at the hospital and thinking, I am going to be divorced, and then telling my mom later that day that I don't want to get divorced. I don't want the stress of the loss of a child to break us apart. She said, marriages that fall apart over the death of a child were already broken long before. And she was so right.
Tonight we went to the cemetery to send off ballons to our little Noah. Kevin and I were both in tears as soon as we pulled into the church parking lot because a few people had already been up to visit Noah. His grave sparkled with pinwheels, butterflies, and beautiful bright flowers. We are so touched to know that one year after our tragic loss, so many people still continue to think of us and hurt right along with us.
Maddy asked 100 questions up at the cemetery about Noah and why he had to leave us. It hurts that we can't answer any questions, but someday we will have all of the answers. But, as I said before, when we get the answers, we won't care because by that time we will be reunited with our beautiful blue-eyed angel! Maddy said on the way out of the cemetery that next year she is going to jump on a balloon and ride up to Noah's cloud to see him. I wish that I could have her innocence for a little bit. And I wish we could find that balloon that could take us to where Noah is and bring him back down, so we can once again be a complete family.
Thank you to everyone from the bottom of our hearts for the thoughts, prayers, friendship, and love. Without so many people caring we would not have survived the unimaginable during the past year! God Bless each and every one of you!
Monday, January 2, 2012
A New Year...
This past month has been rough. I have been an emotional wreck-angry and sad. December 17th was Noah's first birthday and it was hard to say the least. I dreaded that day, knowing that it was going to be emotional, but I woke up that morning and the tears started flowing and didn't stop all day long. It was so hard to think that just a year before, I had so many emotions preparing for his birth. I was so excited to meet him, had butterflies for weeks and so worried that Madelyn wouldn't feel as loved as she should. Then, I heard his cries and all of my worries went away. I knew the instant that I heard him and looked into his eyes that everything was just as it should be. I was on Cloud 9. I had the "perfect" family of 4. I knew at that second that I couldn't ask for anything else. For 4 months, 22 days, I counted my blessings and often caught myself wondering how I could be so lucky.
I pictured having a first birthay for Noah with trains, trucks, something fun for my little boy. Instead, his first birthday party consisted of tears, hugs, and wish lanterns sent from his grave up to Heaven with birthday wishes for our little Angel. Everyone has always heard not to take a day for granted, but until you are actually hit with it, you can't understand. I will say that I took what I had for granted. I do know that Noah never felt anything less than love, but had I known I only had that short time, we would have had a huge celebration of his life. I will forever be thankful for the fact that on April 10th, we had Noah baptized. We had a party with family and close friends and everyone got to love on that sweet little boy.
Christmas was bittersweet this year. Maddy made it so magical and we wanted it to be extra special for her, but I thought about last Christmas when I sat next to the tree holding Noah and watching Maddy open her presents. I held the best gift that any parent could ask for and my heart was filled with joy and love. I looked at Maddy and Noah and felt so blessed to have two healthy kids and a loving husband. I don't ask for a lot in life. I am thankful for a great husband, good jobs, a warm home filled with love for our kids, and two happy, healthy kids. I can still honestly look around and thank the Lord for all that I have been blessed with, but I do often wonder why. I wish I could rewind. I wish I could wake up from the nightmare that I have been living for almost 8 months, but none of that is an option. So, I face each day with an open mind.
I had this hope that I would wake up on New Year's Day and my pain would miraculously be gone. I know it sounds stupid, but I honestly, deep down thought that with the new year would come new beginnings and I hoped that the hurt would go away. I woke up yesterday morning. I opened my eyes and my first thought was Noah (as is every day) and the tears started flowing. I was so mad that so many people had their resolutions and the only thing that I want is to heal. I want to wake up and have that ache in my heart be gone. Kevin says that the hurt is our reminder so that we don't forget and I agree to a point. I never want to and I know I never will forget Noah. I think of him all day long. I was watching a commercial the other day with a chunky little baby taking a bath in the kitchen sink and my eyes instantly filled with tears. I miss Noah's smile, I miss his warm body, his sweet kisses, and I worry that I will forget how he felt, how he smelled, and the sound of his belly laugh. I will forever wonder what his voice would have sounded like and I will wish that I could have seen him grow into the man that he was supposed to become.
A friend of mine had on her Facebook status the other day "If everyone through their troubles into a pile, you would gladly take your own back". I have said since the day that we lost Noah that it is unfair, that I would give anything to get him back, but I know that I still have it better than a lot of people. I can still count my blessing every day. I look at the positives because I refuse to let it ruin me and I am not going to hate life and be a negative person. Tragedy ruins too many lives and I want Noah to look down on us and smile. I am thankful that I have grown in my faith and my marriage has become stronger.
In just over 5 weeks, we are going to be welcoming our 3rd child into the world. 9 months and 1 day after we lost Noah, we will be celebrating the miracle of life. It's crazy how life works out, but we are willing to take whatever comes our way. We know we have been through the unthinkable, so we can manage whatever hand we are dealt. I know it is going to be bittersweet to meet our little boy in February, but we know that he is a gift sent straight from Noah. I look forward to holding him in my arms and surviving sleepless nights!
I pictured having a first birthay for Noah with trains, trucks, something fun for my little boy. Instead, his first birthday party consisted of tears, hugs, and wish lanterns sent from his grave up to Heaven with birthday wishes for our little Angel. Everyone has always heard not to take a day for granted, but until you are actually hit with it, you can't understand. I will say that I took what I had for granted. I do know that Noah never felt anything less than love, but had I known I only had that short time, we would have had a huge celebration of his life. I will forever be thankful for the fact that on April 10th, we had Noah baptized. We had a party with family and close friends and everyone got to love on that sweet little boy.
Christmas was bittersweet this year. Maddy made it so magical and we wanted it to be extra special for her, but I thought about last Christmas when I sat next to the tree holding Noah and watching Maddy open her presents. I held the best gift that any parent could ask for and my heart was filled with joy and love. I looked at Maddy and Noah and felt so blessed to have two healthy kids and a loving husband. I don't ask for a lot in life. I am thankful for a great husband, good jobs, a warm home filled with love for our kids, and two happy, healthy kids. I can still honestly look around and thank the Lord for all that I have been blessed with, but I do often wonder why. I wish I could rewind. I wish I could wake up from the nightmare that I have been living for almost 8 months, but none of that is an option. So, I face each day with an open mind.
I had this hope that I would wake up on New Year's Day and my pain would miraculously be gone. I know it sounds stupid, but I honestly, deep down thought that with the new year would come new beginnings and I hoped that the hurt would go away. I woke up yesterday morning. I opened my eyes and my first thought was Noah (as is every day) and the tears started flowing. I was so mad that so many people had their resolutions and the only thing that I want is to heal. I want to wake up and have that ache in my heart be gone. Kevin says that the hurt is our reminder so that we don't forget and I agree to a point. I never want to and I know I never will forget Noah. I think of him all day long. I was watching a commercial the other day with a chunky little baby taking a bath in the kitchen sink and my eyes instantly filled with tears. I miss Noah's smile, I miss his warm body, his sweet kisses, and I worry that I will forget how he felt, how he smelled, and the sound of his belly laugh. I will forever wonder what his voice would have sounded like and I will wish that I could have seen him grow into the man that he was supposed to become.
A friend of mine had on her Facebook status the other day "If everyone through their troubles into a pile, you would gladly take your own back". I have said since the day that we lost Noah that it is unfair, that I would give anything to get him back, but I know that I still have it better than a lot of people. I can still count my blessing every day. I look at the positives because I refuse to let it ruin me and I am not going to hate life and be a negative person. Tragedy ruins too many lives and I want Noah to look down on us and smile. I am thankful that I have grown in my faith and my marriage has become stronger.
In just over 5 weeks, we are going to be welcoming our 3rd child into the world. 9 months and 1 day after we lost Noah, we will be celebrating the miracle of life. It's crazy how life works out, but we are willing to take whatever comes our way. We know we have been through the unthinkable, so we can manage whatever hand we are dealt. I know it is going to be bittersweet to meet our little boy in February, but we know that he is a gift sent straight from Noah. I look forward to holding him in my arms and surviving sleepless nights!
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